Have Your Way

by | Aug 9, 2021 | Uncategorized | 16 comments

Four days ago, August 5, 2021, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. The news came out of nowhere like a hard punch to the face, leaving me shocked and nauseous all at once. As the doctor was diligently explaining my diagnosis over the phone to myself and my husband, I began to zone out. I handed the phone to my husband, stared into space, and shuffled through the mixed thoughts coming to my mind: “Is this really happening? Carrie, you have cancer inside of you. Carrie, stop the negative thinking right now, it is going to be ok. I am healthy, I am fit, I am young (38), and I am a strong woman of faith – nothing is going to bring me down, right?” Wrong.  We hung up the phone and I had a hard melt down. I curled into a ball into my husband’s arms and wept until I almost couldn’t breathe. Cancer? Why God? Why do I have cancer? I don’t want to die now…I am not scared of dying because I will be with You in Heaven, but there is so much more I still want to do for You here on earth.

Those were the thoughts circulating in my mind like rapid fire, and the number one thought that made me sob the hardest was the idea of leaving my husband behind. I don’t want to be apart from him…ever. I want to live a long healthy life with him, growing God’s Kingdom in powerful new ways. I wasn’t ready for this, at least not yet.

As the short, quick breaths gradually began to slow and my eyes had no more tears left to cry, my husband and I started to do what we do best, put a plan into action. We reached out to a dear friend in New Jersey who is well connected in the medical field. He immediately made a phone call and got me an appointment the following day with the head of breast surgery. Even though Brian and I were in Florida, that didn’t stop us from getting on the first flight out the next morning to be at the appointment by 12pm.

After meeting with the surgeon, it was clear that surgery would be the next step, and for my situation, a double mastectomy would be the best option. Since I have two small masses and one is a more aggressive form of cancer, the return rate for breast cancer in the future would be higher for me. There was no question in my mind, I wanted to eliminate that possibility from ever happening again.

As I am writing these words and continuing down the path of selecting a surgery date and determining if I will need chemo or not, I can’t help but reflect on how God’s hand has been instrumental in this journey from the beginning.  In fact, without his divine appointment setting, I never would have know about my cancer.

About ten days ago, I randomly received a call from my health insurance company saying that they had the authorization code for my upcoming breast MRI. However, the odd thing was that I didn’t have an appointment scheduled. I immediately called my doctor and she explained how she submitted the test request to my insurance company because I was due for a checkup. In that moment God was scheduling this appointment for me, because there was something He wanted me to address.

Since the MRI showed two small masses, I needed to complete further testing and a breast biopsy. It seemed like God cleared the calendars of these doctors, as all my testing was expedited and completed within a few days.

It is all still very overwhelming, but at the same time, it is calming to know He is in the storm with me and directing my steps.

I know this may seem like a lot for some of you, it is a lot for me too! Maybe some of you are questioning the amount of details I have included, but I share my story for three main reasons: (1) the hope that my story is helping someone else, (2) writing is therapeutic for me, and (3) to encourage you to share your story (whatever you may be facing in life) and know you are not alone.

In fact, if there is something you’re going through right now and that “why” question is probing the forefront of your mind, I want to share something from my morning devotional reading by Oswald Chambers that has brought me tremendous peace in these days: “you must allow Him to have His way with you, staying in perfect oneness with Him.”

This statement does not mean we reluctantly give ourselves up to God, throwing our hands up and saying “I give up. Do what you want. I don’t care anymore.” Rather, it challenges us to assess how close we really are with God. Are we continually talking to Him, drenching ourselves in His Word, and confidently trusting in His goodness, so that when unforeseen circumstances strike, we willingly find ourselves saying “have your way with my God, I am Yours and I trust Your ways are always good.”

When we are in perfect oneness with God, and unsurmountable peace will overtake our hearts and drive out the panic, fear, and doubt lurking within us. We will have peace that our Lord Jesus, Light of the World, will see us through the darkness even when we can’t see for ourselves.


  1. Kim Anderson

    You are in my thoughts and prayers ?
    Stay positive and remember God is in control of everything nothing is too big for him to take care of

  2. Martha Chamberlain

    Dear Carrie
    32 years ago I married I married the man of my dreams … and 5 years later was diagnosed with breast cancer
    Dr Gene Cheslock got me through chemo and radiation
    I read your Facebook post regularly… And you are so so positive in your belief that God is in charge… Praying for you and Brian…❤️

  3. Anne Lettieri

    Well said! Having faith in God certainly helps us to survive the storms!
    He is in control!
    Sending positive thoughts and hugs and prayers your way!

  4. Bianca Freda

    So beautifully stated Carrie. What a blessing that you found out now and you have so much strength to overcome it. You are young and healthy and this is just a bump on your road. You aren’t going anywhere, but that cancer sure is. Get out of my friend’s body-she has too much left to do here on earth.
    I know you have a great support system, but if you need ANYTHING I will drop whatever I’m doing to support you. A comfy pillow, new pj’s, a journal perhaps??? You were so wonderful during my dealing with cancer and you can guarantee i will do the same for you. Soon, we’ll be toasting to you new boobies (hopefully in Florence)!
    Love you ?

  5. Erin

    You are His favorite subject. Every one of His children are. He is watching over you every moment. Every second you are awake and every second you are asleep. He will never leave you. Please find comfort in His plan. We love you dearly and are always here for you!

  6. Joy Hammons

    Carrie, Sam and I are praying for you and Brian. Love you so much!

  7. Izzy

    I love reading this as I do believe I am reading a miracle in the making. We are praying amica.

  8. Julie Frye

    Carrie, I just finished reading this this morning and I’m somewhat speechless. Thank you for sharing this with all of us. Your honesty, courage, and faith is a true testimony of your character. In this way, you touch so many people’s lives. It goes without saying, that I’m on my knees praying for you right now. We love you Carrie ???

  9. Andrea Clidy

    Beautiful writing. We are here for you. ???❤️

  10. Brooke

    I can’t believe what I’m reading. You are one of the strongest woman I know. You succeed at everything you do. I am hear for your journey. I will pray for you and be here if you need a good laugh. You have the best support system and are surrounded by so much love. You got this!

  11. Lizzie

    Carrie, such a strong faith you have and I know God will bring you and Brian through this together. Stay strong, and I will say prayers for you also. Sending you big hugs and love. Thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery.

  12. Joyce

    Carrie you are in my prayers. You are a beautiful child of God. He has you !
    You are already glorifying Him by sharing this story with courage and faith
    Sending love and hugs

  13. Holly

    Well said Carrie! We are
    going to help you get through this! I truly believe that this experience will bring you even closer to god and give you more understanding to help so many other people also going through bumpy times.
    With so much love and admiration,

  14. Loni

    When so many people would shut down and check out, you instead have opened up to share your journey. And you are doing it in a way that only you can do while glorifying God and showing how his hand is holding you through it. Love you Carrie!

  15. Gisella Mogavero

    Dear sisterinGod, I’m praying for you,I faced a similar experience.
    Doctors told me I would cut my brest, but God made me meet another doctor that
    Made only a small surgery. I have controls every six months… Until now, it’s all ok, I’m grateful to God.
    I had only radiotherapy after the surgery,and I take a pill every evening, for 5 years.
    The cancer was hormonal. I am 57 now, 55 when I discovered cancer.
    I know that God is protecting you in everyway… In your thoughts, in your body… I declare a perfect healing from God in your life. ❤️

  16. Berecia Pitts


    Your faith is a testiment of your relationship with God. I leave this with you from Philippians 1:6 (NLT)~ “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”